Positive As it gets!

For a few days my body felt off, the morning sickness hit me and my first thought wasn’t that I could or might be PREGNANT!! My initial thought was to blame the nausea on breastfeeding. Like the jokester Peyton is he always likes to pop the question…are you pregnant??

But this time the question wasn’t just a laugh it off and move on from the subject. It was more of a paused moment in time where we really thought about it a little harder than we would normally. To early to test I didn’t want to wait any longer to find out.

Are we ready for another baby?

Will I still be able to breastfeed Paighton?

Will I fit in my wedding dress?

Is Paighton too young for a sibling?

without even thinking twice I knew that I wanted to take a test. First response “6 days before your missed period”. Read on the box, I knew that if it came out negative that was okay because I still had 8 days before my expected period was suppose to come. My nerves were not shaking because I knew what ever this test read we could get through it.

Taking a test this time was a different feeling than it was with Paighton. I wasn’t a 17 (3 days before my 18th birthday) year old who still had her senior year to get through. I wouldn’t have to endure the judgement I got from my classmates. Which is actually wild to me was the only people that had something rude to say or was “talking” behind my back were people in FFA. As if everyone in that program was so spotless of doing something out the norm that they had to say rude things about me. Where are y’all now??? Still acting like the animals y’all raised.

You would think that they would be the first group to support me and show me love. As if being pregnant and walking the hallways of high school wasn’t enough to bare. However not everyone was rude, I did have people who couldn’t wait to meet my baby girl.

Like any normal pregnancy test I peed on the stick and waited the longest two minutes of the century. We had hope of a positive but we weren’t gonna be upset if it wasn’t. I turned the test over and at first I automatically said “we aren’t pregnant”. With Peyton just being hisself he investigated the test as if what I said was wrong. In fact a second later he came to me and said “do you see that faint line too??”

We of course not my immediate reaction set off. I grabbed the test and sure enough a faint line was present. July 21,2019 we had our unofficial positive test. Our little family was growing bigger and we were so blessed. Two days later cloud nine turned into a thunderstorm of mixed emotions. The next four test we took over a course of almost a week shot our excitement down. All the test we took came back negative, no faint lines. Our spirits were crushed my mind was so confused but the fear of facing a chemical pregnancy was all I could think about.

Did I have a miscarriage?

Was my baby already in heaven before I could get a positive test?

Questions after questions filled my google search bar and the same answers I got. Maybe we didn’t see a faint line and it just showed up after the five minute mark? It could also be a false positive which people can get. I finally decided that I wasn’t gonna take another test till I actually missed my period. Three days late and I had the idea that it was just irregular since this was only the third period I was suppose to get after having Paighton. My body was just trying to get into the swing of things again. Paighton’s first birthday passed which got our minds off of the whole pregnancy situation. All this time Peyton had a gut feeling that I indeed was actually pregnant.

Like any first time mom I cried almost the whole day of Paighton’s actual birthday, happy tears of the fact that I had accomplished one whole year of breastfeeding without formula! And just the memories that came along this day a year ago. It was emotional because I conquered the hardest thing in my life which was have a natural unmediated birth. I felt every ache and pain my body was going through. Which isn’t something a lot of woman can say they conquered. To me that was a accomplishment I hold over my head so proudly.

My period was late, and I was starting to wonder what was going on. For the last week all the test I took were negative so why wasn’t my period showing up. I remember that it was late at night when I asked Peyton for us to make a trip to Walmart. 15 minutes later we were back home with 2 test and a gut feeling of it being negative again.

I knew for myself I needed to take the test without Peyton so that I could have a moment to myself to process the results. That night I was filling a candle order so naturally Peyton watched P so I could get my work done. I knew that this was the perfect opportunity to take the test alone. Three minutes later I walked back into the bathroom flipped the test over and two solid lines were telling me I was pregnant. I was completely shocked to the point I forgot to breathe. I immediately took the next tests and waited the three minutes again. In this whole six minutes peyton thought the whole time I was making candles but in reality I had just found out that our family was now a family of four. The next test yet again came out positive and my heart was sooo happy. I grabbed both test and walked out into the living room where I found Peyton and P dancing to the ABC song. I sat down next to Peyton and I looked at P and said “Paighton your gonna be a big sister”.

Peyton’s face lit up and we both started crying while holding our positive test. This is what our family needed. We knew we needed another blessing. Our family was growing and so were our hearts. Baby #2 you are already so loved and we are all soo excited to see this new journey you take us on. From this day on our lives will never be the same.

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Paighton’s 1st Birthday!

365 days I have been blessed to physically hold my little baby girl and watch her grow everyday. I’ve been blessed to be able to stay home and be her care giver, her mom, and love all the responsibilities that comes with having a child. Today (July 29,2019) I think I cried more today than in my life. Happy tears,sad tears, all types of mix emotion tears because the little baby girl I delivered on this day a year ago has grown so fast it’s actually insane. https://signgypsies.com/

Throughout this year I have regained parts of me and changed up who I want to be. Motherhood is a everyday challenge because you truly never get a break. Than again why would you want a break from something you love doing so much. I have learned more about life this year than school has ever educated me from pre-k to graduation. I have learned that anyone will judge you based on your age and that the only person I try to impress everyday is my fiancé and my baby girl!

Some days it’s easiest to just get up, brush ur teeth and lay in bed all day. Other days you want to be super productive and make 10 batches of candles, redecorate the living room, clean out the closets and still manage your mom duties. This year of motherhood has taught me that which ever day you choose it’s okay. As long as your baby has a dry diaper, food in her belly and a smile on her face nothing else matters in the world at those moments.

Peyton and I have had some rough night, scary moments and happy tears all because of the journey we take everyday with Paighton. From the rush to the emergency rooms to the surprised open mouth laughs from when she does something we didn’t expect her to do. Paighton has made our life so special I knew her birthday party had to be just as extra as she is.

We decided to have her birthday party at a beautiful park! This day was just remarkable! Our family and friends all arrived and one by one amazed at the work I put into making her birthday party just this much special. Her theme was unicorns because I truly love horses and what’s better than a magical horse? Nothing your right. All of her decorations were things we already had or I made them! I love our little girl with all my heart and I wanted her party to just express that.

I definitely wanted to make her birthday party one to remember so I brought out a few eggs and some spoons. Went around and picked out a few people to play my egg race game. It was full of challenges and adrenaline everyone wanted to join in after the first round. And the pictures we got from it were amazingly fun! However her birthday party brought family together that created many memories we will all cherish forever. They say it takes a village to raise a child and they are absolutely right! This is my village the ones who know my struggles and fears but helps me back on my feet for me to know that I truly can do this and succeed as a mother. These girls (& some not in this picture) help me through this crazy journey called motherhood. They understand the struggles of being teen moms and how people judge you just based on your age. They stand tall with me when I need them the most and even if they don’t agree with some of my decisions on how I raise Paighton they stand by my side through it all. It’s crazy how it took being pregnant in high school to meet true friends who will stick through thick and thin!

I truly believe Paighton had a wonderful birthday, just look at the beautiful smile. When it came to sing her Happy Birthday I wanted to cry because my baby girl was growing up. This year flown through like no other year has before. Than my best friends wrote Paighton a card saying how they have seen her through all her milestones like crawling and walking for the first time. My voice started to become crackled and my eyes started to fill up. Because it’s so true, we have all been friends since we were pregnant and went to each others baby showers and saw each baby when they were newborns and now most of them are 1 years old!

My amazing father

I’m so extremely greatful for my parents and Peyton’s parents for being so involved and supportive in Paighton’s life. This year is one for the books and I can’t wait for what’s to come on this journey we creat everyday!

I’m so in love with the man Peyton is and has become. P & I can’t even begin to explain how much we love him and what all he’s had to do for us this past year. Not only has paighton changed our life but she has changed our relationship. Paighton and I had to learn to live together all while learn to take care of a baby. We had to accept each others flaws and embrace them instead. I’m so glad I get to have Peyton in my life.

To many more birthdays to our crazy birthday girl! We love you Paighton and can’t wait for you to grow up and read all about our journey!

I highly recommend for everyone to hire a photographer during events!!!

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