Have you heard that new tik tok trend song where the lyrics goes,
“I coulda went to school to be a doctor, but I dropped out and chose to be a baller”.
It’s a very catchy verse and most of the people end the video with what they chose to become in life. Whether you chose to be a doctor, or a receptionist, did you choose that position because it’s what you wanted to do in life?
This year I have been working hard on myself to become who I want to be. I’ve changed so much as a person and finding out who I am has been a very moving experience. Being a mom at such a young age it has consumed my identity. Definitely not saying it’s a bad thing but who would I be if I didn’t have kids? When I go out my girls are all I talk about. They are the center of my universe, but who am I with out them?
That’s been the burning question.
I haven’t quite found the answer to that question and I feel like it will still take some time but I’m willing to wait. I know for a fact I’m not brave without my girls by my side. In fact becoming a stay at home mom at 18 made me go into hibernation. My anxiety sky rockets if I have to talk to someone alone, I feel as if my body starts to instantly get the chills and my hyperhidrosis (excessive sweating: armpits) symptoms make me feel like a sinking ship. I’m constantly in a state of fear that something embarrassing is going to happen, like the time I was in class my freshman year of high school I decided to wear white pants and I sat on a chair that someone had left their mascara wand on. What a vivid memory I will never forget and the reason why I don’t wear white pants to this day.
I can say I’m still adventurous, not rock climbing through the Grand Canyon adventures but a: let’s book a family vacation to a new state to explore, or let’s try a new restaurant even though the last time we did we got food poisoning.
I’m not giving up on my blog, even though it’s been months since I posted I feel as if it’s just been weeks. Between motherhood, my sign business sparkle my Yard and YouTube I barely have time to breathe. When I do want to write I get distracted by another project and it seems as if writing a blog gets pushed back on my list. If you have read this far give this blog a like, it will help keep me motivated to continue what I’ve started.
I want to write more about mom hacks, easy meals, more of my life stories and just be a place for you to escape to. I write about what’s on my mind, how I feel and what I feel like people should read. I want to create a safe space for you to come and relax, maybe have a good laugh or learn something! Motherhood is hard but it’s the best thing you will ever go through.
Whether you have kids or just enjoy reading my blogs I wanted to let you know, you will always have a seat at my table. Thank you for reading my blog, if this is the first time Welcome! I’m Carmelita Middleton, I write what’s on my mind and occasionally give you some advice about motherhood! My life is a journey so bring your surf board because the waves sometimes can be crazy. But the mountains I’ve climbed have lead me to the best views I’ve ever seen.