“For Better or worse”

So today we got some bad news on the house we really had our hearts set on. Our “offer” wasn’t accepted and honestly I was really sad about it. I completely had my heart set on this beautiful home yet God didn’t have this house in the plans for us.

So what’s next?

I truly was praying that this process would be a one and done deal! My mind was running a mile a minute I couldn’t keep still! I took the girls outside to play with chalk. Gave them baths and took mine as well. After I got out the shower my mind was truly still racing. I was talking to God letting him know my worries and prayed the deal would go through. I than still couldn’t sit down and Emmalynn and oaklynn were asleep and Paighton was watching Tv so I cleaned my whole house! Like a maniac I was swiping down counters, sweeping up leftover crackers and mopping everything possible. From the floor, to the baseboards and even some marker stains on the wall. My mind was simply running a mile a minute. This process isn’t for me at all. I hate having my faith in someone else’s hands, (besides Gods).

Peyton started to joke saying how I was mopping so fast it could be a Olympic sport. He declared it be called “The mom Olympics “ and truthfully I think I’d have a decent chance at possibly placing for a metal!

When it comes to situations where we have to wait for a answer Peyton and I are completely two different people. I’m the type to over analyze every situation and Peyton is the one who doesn’t care till he gets the answer. He won’t be upset, or sad if it doesn’t go his way and he sure won’t be the one jumping up and down if it is his answer he’s looking for. I on the other hand need to talk about it for hours, days or even months. I set myself up for failure but get super sad if it’s truly not my answer. I already envisioned a life in that house and how my kids would grow up. I know it’s weird but as the type of person I am I want to be 100 percent with my choice.

Than we have the what ifs!

What if we just pay the expected price the owner wants us to and we get the house? Which honestly at this point I’m like it’s only x amount of dollars more. Reality doesn’t set in my mind at times. I push myself way to hard and limits have to be passed. I’m constantly giving advice and truly I need it now for myself more than any other time in my life.

Other than the unwanted answer From the above story, this is how my morning started (4-22-22). Around 7 am I was awoken by a unpleasant grunt coming from the bathroom. Exhausted as usual waking up I hear Peyton’s throwing up. It felt like more of a dream than reality so I went back to sleep thinking maybe it wasn’t actually happening. A few hours later I woke back up to find Peyton once again in the bathroom throwing up nothing but the acid in his stomach.

What the heck is going on!

Tired and completely weak he crawled back into bed and told me about his morning and how sick he was. Peyton doesn’t miss work for anything so I knew it was serious. Around 10 am Peyton had a migraine, vomiting and his hips were causing him so much pain. With him I’m constantly having to beg him to talk to the doctor, go to the urgent care or simply check his fever, which turned out to be 103.1 by the way! He finally decided to call his doctor and to my non complete surprise they told him to head to the nearest urgent care. Within a hour after I got the girls dressed and fed we arrived at our closest urgent care. I hopped out the truck to start and unpack because we had all our girls with us and I asked Peyton to get his ID because I know they will need it. In shock he forgot his wallet at home. Peyton NEVER leaves the house without his wallet which is why it didn’t cross my mind to check before we left.

It was actually a blessing because I called my mom and dropped Paighton and Emmalynn off with her so they wouldn’t have to go into the urgent care with us. Finally arriving into the urgent care one of the nurses was trying to find a visible vein to start a Iv because Peyton was extremely dehydrated. She than pointed to inform the other nurse that she got a “visible vein” and the other nurse said to let her feel. Thank God for the nurses who double check everything because turns out it was Peyton’s tendon she was about to poke. My husband was in so much pain, more pain than I’ve ever seen him in. I barely drive because Peyton doesn’t like anyone else driving but him and honestly I don’t complain. But he was in so much pain he could barely sit down in the truck. I’m the worst when it comes to serious situations, I tend to laugh in the most unconvinced times.

After nearly a hour Peyton had received some fluids through his Iv and took some medicine for the massive headache he was not enjoying, Oaklynn and I sat by his side through out the whole experience.

My heartbreaks when I see Peyton in pain. The scariest part was during the drive up to the urgent care his arms started to go numb and started to curl up and cramp. I was scared because I truly didn’t know what was going on but I was calm because I knew he needed my support in hard times like this.

I’ll forever be the one to drive you to the doctors, hold your hand while they find a vein, and sit with you while we wait for answers.

“To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part”. Ever since October 22,2019!

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