Lately the words that I want to say seem as if they just don’t want to press the right keys and make the right words. Everything I want to share can only be shared in due time but what I can say is that God has been the center of our decisions. I’ve been in a journey to find myself and who I want to be. Manifesting nothing but success and successful people around me. Expecting respect from others and just living life and not being walked on. But instead exploring the paths no one wants to take and completing paving the way for the younger generation to be successful. I see myself as a leader, a strong woman who can conquer anything in her way. But deep down inside I’m terrified, terrified of the judgment that comes from putting myself on the line. I’m shaking in my knees of the “what if’s” and the scary truth of what could happen if I failed. The lord says “I’m enough” but why don’t I feel that way? The lord says “I’m strong” but I can’t bare to hold up the expectations people expect of me. The lord says “I am loved” but why do I feel as if The Whole world is against me?
So many thoughts run wild and I hold myself to a higher expectation everyday. I push myself to become a successful story so that one day my girls will be proud of the woman who raised them. Because God says “I’m enough” and I need to believe him. I am not the one to just give up but sometimes giving up and starting over is exactly what you need to do. I have so many fears I need to face and trying to be “accepted” by everyone is one that won’t happen. I am a strong cup of coffee that only taste sweet to the people who like the way I’m made.
The song “You say” by Lauren Daigle really has been my go to song lately.
Click the button above to listen to the song.
This song has changed my heart in so many ways. Reminded me of just who I am because I needed to know. I don’t normally write about my personal beliefs just out of respect for others and their cultural beliefs but I’m called to write this. As some of you may not know I was honored to attend a trip my freshman year of high school to fly to Budapest, Hungary and talk about my faith in God. My experience was amazing and I still talk to some of the people I met. I will say social media has helped keep our relationship alive. Just to be able to travel across the world was a new experience. I got to go to many schools, try new dishes and meet the local people. This experience will never be forgotten because it truly changed my life.
God uses people to change others and move them to the right path. I believe he brought you to this specific blog at this specific time to remind you of just who you are and that you are loved. When ever I feel down I just believe and remember just of who I am and who my God is!