When will our family be complete?

Peyton and I have talked about this multiple times and to answer this question we truthfully don’t have a number. I feel as if time will only tell but on another hand we do want to try for a boy. If we end up with all girls we still would be extremely excited because a baby no matter what is a blessing.

The other day Peyton and I stopped into Walmart to grab some water. On our way down the aisle I always get distracted by the girl clothes of course. To no surprise Peyton follows me and just waits till I’m done looking, but this time I had noticed he was getting distracted as well. I looked over and saw my husband holding a little boys shirt. I felt his heart beat softer and saw his hand grasp a little tighter. His eyes were pure of hope that one day he would have a son. I sat back and admired how my husband searched through all of the clothes and picked out what our future son would wear. We found a black denim jacket with a skull shirt, a little shirt that said Daddy’s little Dude and so much more.

Peyton absolutely adores our daughter’s and Paighton is a total daddy’s girl. She wants to help him fix everything, hold the tools, wear his hat and put on his shoes. As any man Peyton wants a son. We have his name picked out, his bedroom theme, even down to what he will wear. We do pray that God will bless us with a little boy one day but for now our family is perfect. We have our little girls who we absolutely adore. I don’t want our girls to grow up too fast but I do want our kids close in age like Paighton and Emmalynn are. I absolutely love this age gap and I’m so blessed I didn’t wait longer to get pregnant with Emmalynn. My girls are roughly 21 months apart and I Can say this age gap is so much fun. Paighton and Emmalynn Play so nicely together and I find it that Emmalynn starts to learn things quickly because Paighton is so involved with her.

Our 3rd child most likely will be further apart just due to the events that will take place this year. But I believe everything will work out in the time that it’s suppose to. Or even if the lord decides that two children is our blessing we will accept our blessing and our family will be complete. I know along the years our final number of children will change but for right now we want three if our last baby is a boy. When we first got pregnant with Paighton and you asked us how many kids we wanted our number was six! Thinking at what I’ve learned and the obstacles that we have faced to get to where we are today I think 3 or even four would be perfect. We want a big family one day but I want to be able to give my attention to each of my children equally. Life has a funny way of teaching you lessons when you least expect it. When my niece and nephews lived with us we had 6 kids.

Cooking and cleaning and just trying to help with homework was a lot of work but we absolutely loved it. At times it was mentally frustrating because providing for four extra kids who eat just as much as we do wasn’t cheap and we didn’t have any help financially. We were able to see how much it took all together to raise six kids.

Update on that situation:

We still haven’t talked to them since October due to their grandma not letting our call go through. I can’t send them letters because I don’t have the address and even if I did I doubt she would even give them my letter to read. Our life dramatically changed to accommodate four extra kids in our apartment. We stepped up to the plate and helped when most people at 20 and 21 wouldn’t have the means to do that. We spent over two grand on clothes and school supplies to be able to make sure they were confident in there appearance when showing up to a new school. Not to mention I put them in school by myself and that was a whole stressful process. At the end of the day we just want to talk to them and hear about their new school and all the fun adventures they are on. I still want to be apart of their lives and not make them feel like I “gave up on them”. Not a day goes by I don’t think about them and all the adventures we went on.

Further into the investigation:

When my sister gave me the paper that the kids grandmother wrote to the judge. The grandmother told the judge that I couldn’t take care of the kids because I am a single mother. If she would of done just a little more research on me she would know that’s not true. My thing is why would a judge not check the so called “facts” that she put in her letter? Why wouldn’t he make sure what she’s saying is true before making such a drastic change in a kids life? I mean why would some one think that it’s okay to rip kids from their school and take them across states without telling them what’s going on? I couldn’t imagine someone would think that’s the best possible thing for a kid who wasn’t in danger. My heart still aches, I still have their drawings on my fridge and I’m still waiting on a call. One day the kids will know my side of the story.

To my niece and Nephews:

If one day you read this blog and come across my words I want you to know that I love you. I love you more than you will remember. I cared for you when you needed me and I stepped up to the plate. I put my own needs aside to make sure you had the best clothes and school supplies. Peyton worked hard to provide the funds to keep y’all with nice things. My mom misses all the park adventures y’all went on and even Daddy Bill misses you too.

I’m sorry that you were scared that day and I wish it wouldn’t of happened the way that it did. I’m sorry that I broke my promise to keep you safe. I remember every night we would say a prayer and When y’all were scared I would light the prayer candle to make your fears disappear. I love y’all so much and just wish to talk to you soon.

Love your Aunt Carmelita 💛

3 comments

  1. That’s always such a hard decision so make, when you are ready! My husband and I are starting to think about trying for a 2nd but it’s always tough to know when you really are “ready”. We have a boy right now so if we had another boy I feel like I would be in your same shoes on trying for a girl! Thank you for sharing

    Liked by 1 person

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