There’s no lie that the amount of responsibility that my husband and I have gained these past two weeks is enough to make any grown man cry. Enough to make you fall on your knees and pray to God for guidance and clarity.
Our whole life has changed in a matter of a phone call and to say the truth I’m ready to get back to my life that once was. I love these kids and I’m glad that God has given me the opportunity to impact these kids lives. The emotional and mental stress we are under can get overwhelming. We pray to God every night to let us know what path we have to take next. Peyton has started to go to work a hour and a half early and get off a hour later. I’ve taken a week and a few days off of college just to get the kids situated. Get them started into school, get them school clothes and supplies and just make them feel comfortable. Jumping from being a parent for only two years to having to learn how to “parent” up to 11 years old has been a huge change for me personally. The amount of respect that these kids have for me I’d probably say it’s equivalent to a man walking on a tight rope across the Grand Canyon. They are amazing kids but in a sense I’m just as young as well. The fact that I’m only 9 years older than the oldest it makes it hard for them to see me as an authority. I wouldn’t blame them because if I were there age I would understand.
It’s taken me some time to adjust to the whole situation we are in and learn how to find time for myself and my husband. Maybe I took a bigger bite than I could chew but I’m learning to take one day at a time. I’m learning to be a better person for my niece and nephews and take care of the things I need to take care of in a timely matter. The lord doesn’t give you things you can’t handle and at this point I feel as if my boat is sinking. All the plans we have had for ourselves have to be put on hold to be able to provide the essentials that these kids need today. I’m at a cross roads of what the heck did I get myself into and This is exactly what I need to do to help my family out.
I ask for prayers, prayer of guidance and knowledge to help me through this stage in life. I ask for acceptance to see my future change as we deal with this obstacle that we are faced. I ask for prayers for our financial security as now we have 4 more mouths to feed. One would say why would we even continue with this journey if it makes it harder for us. I would reply with, because you don’t turn your back on family. God will bless us for what we have done and will continue to bless us in the journey we are on. I have a platform to speak my mind on and to encourage people to read my blogs to not give up. To continue the fight, even when life knocks you down stand right back up and throw your hardest punches. You may get a few hits but at the end your the one with your arm raised.