There’s never really any advice for parenting and especially not for parents of pregnant teens. So here I am to give you advice on parenting a pregnant teenager or a teenager who’s already a parent.
First off put yourself in their shoes, imagine how nervous, anxious and terrified they might be at the fact that they just found out they are pregnant, or that their partner is expecting. To add on the anxiety they have to tell you that they are pregnant. Stay calm, I know the first reaction is to start yelling, freaking out and wondering what In the H. E double hockey sticks were they thinking. Well let me just give you some idea as to what they were thinking,
“It won’t happen to me, I’m not getting pregnant.”
“ I’m probably infertile because nothing has happened yet.”
“If he just pulls out, we can’t get pregnant.”
“I’m on birth control, we don’t need a condom.”
“If it happens one time, you can’t get pregnant.”
As once a teenagers myself I’ve heard these all from other teenagers. No one thinks it will happen to them till it does. As teenagers they are, they all think they know what life is at that age. Of course we all went through that state but as soon as they get a positive test they always come running back for advice.
My blogs usually are giving girls my age advice about pregnancy and motherhood. But I wanted to switch it up and give advice to the parents who have to deal with this life change as well.
Screaming, yelling, physical abuse, mental abuse isn’t the right thing to do at this time. One because it’s not gonna change the fact of what’s been done. And second off it might actually ruin your relationship. Pregnancy is a magical time in a moms life no matter what age. But being a teen mom sometimes it’s not so magical due to the fact many people always have a lot of opinions. Many people aren’t excited, supportive or even happy that a blessing is being brought into this world.
Instead parents, stay calm! Stay Relaxed and address the situation. My advice is to not say anything negative or rude in the heat of the moment! It will in fact stay in the teenagers mind for years to come.
Try to educate your teenagers instead of speaking negative comments. The way you act towards this situation will result in if your teenager will want you in their life anymore. It’s the hard truth but at the end of the day your child is becoming a parent who has to now put the needs and well being of their child first. Personally I’ve heard stories of so many parents neglecting the teenager at a time when they need their parents to most.
Be a safe place for your child to be able to express how they feel. Many of their friends will disappear just at the fact that they are pregnant. I know for some, parents don’t want to be happy or even see this as a blessing but kids are. Every baby that comes into the world should be celebrated.
Show your child that you support them, this creates a platform of positivity. Which ultimately encourages the new parent to become better. To not stop school, to finish their education and get that degree or to reach for the goal that they’ve had for a while. I write my blogs to show people that just because you have a baby doesn’t mean you become a mom and that’s it. Parenting teens shouldn’t be looked down upon. Instead look at them taking responsibility of their actions. Look at teen parenting as taking the obstacles that life and unprotected actions have created and see how brave it is for them to be parenting at a young age.
Of course people will judge your teenager, but it’s your job as a parent to show your child how to be confident and not let people get to you. But as the parent you have to set your social standards aside and do what’s best for your child. Embrace being a young grandparent, embrace the celebration of life! I promise you and so many other grandparents will agree with me. As soon as you lay eyes on your precious grand baby all of the worlds problems seem to disappear. At that moment your not thinking about all the problems, your simply embracing life.
Your child may change up his or her goals, may decide to accomplish a different degree or even just want to go straight to the working world. Stand behind them in their decision as this is the life they live. To many times parents want to encourage the way of life they think is best. By no means is that wrong but sometimes it’s good to have your child do what they think is best for them. You already chose your life path, you are living your life so let them have some freedom as to what they want to do next. To many times parents want to change the goals because it’s “not practical to become a singer, or they don’t think they will make any money being an influencer”.
I promise you as soon as you let them make decisions they will come ask you for advice many young parents value the advice of their own parents.
On to another topic, try to refrain from being over bearing with your advice on how to parent. Don’t make them feel bad for not doing what you wanted them to do. However if the child is at harms way with the way that the young parent is parenting, please step in and give advice.
Just because someone says “no offense” before judging someone’s parenting doesn’t mean it won’t come across as non offensive. I’ve personally had to sit through lectures on how I should parents to be more like this person or that person.
Don’t make the young parent feel bad for choosing to parent how they would like to parent. When a young parent wants advice trust me they will ask. I believe that us as young parents should take in the advice but listen to our hearts.