Will I have a Natural Birth?

This question has haunted me lately and to be honest I’m a little terrified of labor this go around. From gas pains to early Braxton Hicks I’m over the physical pain of this pregnancy. I truly wish pregnancy was easier on my body but the truth of the fact is it takes a hard toll every time. These nine months are a blessing because I get to grow a whole baby that’s half the love of my life and myself. However the thought of accomplishing a natural birth AGAIN! Terrifies me at the thought that I won’t be able to survive the intense pain! This go around I know what the labor pains feel like and I understand completely what I will have to go through, unlike the last time.

Every night I listen to my hypno-birthing tracts and get in tuned with my body. I believe that your mind is so extremely powerful, alot more powerful than what we think! I will try and to accomplish another natural birth. It will be hard, it will be painful, it will be exhausting but it will all be worth it when I get to hold little miss Emmalynn! My fears are that I will tear horribly and the pain will be excruciating. Or that my body will not be able to handle the pain and I’ll have to get a epidural. There’s nothing wrong with getting a epidural I just know as the type of person I am I don’t want any extra medications to be put in my body. But full disclaimer if my contractions are so intense that it puts Emmalynns life at risk for any reason. I will do what’s absolutely best for her and get over my fear of getting a epidural.

Life is a precious thing to hold in your hands and I can’t wait to meet her. I can’t wait to be in labor because I believe that’s a beautiful process. It’s scary, overwhelming, yet can be calm and completely focused. Labor is a time in your life where you are bringing life into this world. You get to be the person who experiences each contractions and truly tune into what your body is telling you even if you have never been in labor before. It’s a life changing experience for you as the mother but it’s also for your partner. Ladies please don’t forget that this experience is also terrifying for your partner because they can’t physically take away your pain in the moment of labor. Involve your partner in any aspect that you can because they want to feel involved. This moment of bringing your baby in the world is a big moment for them as well. They may be nervous, excited, terrified, over joyed and that’s all normal. Labor is a very vulnerable time in your life where you are completely raw in your emotions, in the physical pain and your appearance. Labor is a time to find your inner peace and know your strength is stronger than you thought.

3 weeks max till it’s time to push this child out and I’m ready but at the same time not at all. I have to get P’s bag packed to spend the night with my mom while I’m in labor along with both Peyton and I’s clothes for the hospital stay. So much to do but not enough energy to do anything at this moment in time.

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One response to “Will I have a Natural Birth?”

  1. Thank you for your post! I understand it takes a lot of guts to write this down, because I’ve been through a natural birth myself as well… and it never is what you expect. I never felt that kind of pain, and I wish I felt the ultimate joy after it ended followed by love, but I was just tired. The love and joy part came way later. I really hope you have a tolerable birth experience – I can’t wish you a great one because I know how many aspects of it are not great 😀 but I hope you tolerate it, manage it, and push that baby out safely 🙂 btw, great content as always!


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