Every new mom always gets the same question asked..
“Well how does it feel to be a mom now?”
Hold up so now that I have a physical baby in my arms, that’s what makes me a mom???
Oh not the way I see it!
I see it as soon as I got a positive test and decided that this was gonna be my future I was a mom. Yeah I didn’t have a physical baby in my hand but I still had to watch what I ate and made sure I drank a lot of water. After all the times I felt nauseous in school or fainted in public I was a mom from the start!
I must say my whole life has completely changed since paighton was born! I now have a baby that needs my attention 24/7 and a future husband that comes home to me every night! I sure don’t miss those good night texts or those good night kisses we would do before we left eachother for the night. I must say life as we know it has a new meaning and is definitely on a new path.
Paighton’s first day being alive wasn’t bad at all! I use to hear horror stories about how new moms couldn’t handle having a the physical baby out her womb. To me it was a relief I thought I would of had to be induced and that honestly wasn’t okay with me. Going into labor naturally and delivering naturally was my main goal in the beginning!
Well look at that carm you did it!
While we were on “vacation” at the hospital it was actually kinda rough. Our postpartum nurse we had, I felt like she was judging us the whole time because we were young parents. I guess what made matters worst was I was “The over protective mom” who never wanted paighton to leave my sight. That nurse can think what she wants but when you push a human out of your body your gonna want to protect her (or him) with your life.
Every procedure they had to do they either brought the equipment to my room or I went with her. The worst thing is watching your baby be in pain and you can’t do a thing about it. I know they have to take blood but the way they do it just looks so painful. The nurse pricked her little foot and bent her foot up all the way back to her ankle to get drops of blood. I don’t think any mother is ready for that sight.
The results of the blood test came back showing that paighton had a small case of jaundice. It’s a common thing for newborns but paighton’s number level was to high to just ignore.
For the next 8 hours she was put under a photo-therapy light. Basically a tanning bed for babies who need sun right away. I hated this process so much because I was only able to hold her for 30 minutes while she ate. And that was only ever 2 hours. What made matters even more unreasonable was paighton had to wear a mask over her eyes to protect them from the light. I can tell you now that she did not like it at all. I wouldn’t blame her I wouldn’t want anything on my face causing me not to see, But she was super cute in her bassinet enjoying some “sun”.
Being her mother has taught me so much so far! I learned that mind over matter is strong, it’s what got me through labor naturally. I’ve learned that the love you have for your child is so much stronger than the love you have for your spouse. I hope one day paighton will be able to read my blogs and understand the love I had for her even before she was in my arms. With each day passing I thank God for his miracle of giving me a child sent from heaven.